Posted in being in nursing school, on a personal note

Shoes.

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Ok. I admit it.

I totally followed the crowd. I bought the $137.00 pair of Dansko Professional XPs a month before I started nursing school (pictured at the top). I was excited. I had asked my nurse friends, and my bartending friends – both of whom spend a good bit of time on their dogs (feet). They raved about them; I’d even go as far as to say they idolized them. But me? I had no idea. My job required me to sit 7 hours of the day — something I could comfortably do in a 4-6″ pair of heels. This whole “comfy” shoes phenomenon was new to me. So, I did what any other n00b would do and I asked people “in the know”.

There is a certain…ok, I’m not going to sugar coat it, exaggeration of awesome in the fields where I sought my advice. Everyone works the “longest hours ever” with feet that hurt really really bad when you’re looking for advice on a good pair of shoes. So, I went with their advice — their tiny feet advice. I was getting advice from people who wear size 5 to size 7 shoes with perfect arches. Dudes, I wear damn near a size 11 and these shoes are heavy as hell. My feet are so narrow that my feet didn’t know what was going on – but you know what? I suffered through it. I suffered through it because these shoes were $137.00. I refused not to wear them. But now that I only have 2 months and 29 days (who’s counting) left, I have decided enough is enough. I’m actually doing 12 hour shifts now and my the health of my feet are important.

I have long been wearing compression stockings (shout out to TCS; cutest CSs ever!), so I didn’t need any help there. I decided to go on the hunt for some cooshy, light tennis shoes. And not expensive Nikes, just some $50 shoes. I found Skechers with memory foam inserts. Blessed be these shoes. I praise the shoe gods from whom all shoe blessings flow for these shoes. Stepping into them felt like stepping into a fluffly cloud full of awesome in comparison to the hard and unforgiving Danskos I had previously worn. I got sucker punched into buying arch inserts — I wore them and regretted it. I have flat feet – arch support just bruised my poor flat feet. I took those suckers out and just enjoyed the flat memory foam. I can’t believe it took this long for me to switch. If anybody wants some ridiculously overpriced Danskos, I have some for sale…ya know, for $100 that isn’t even worth it. Size 42!

-HN

Posted in being in nursing school, on a personal note

An interview!

Right?!

Well guys…I am almost 2 months into my 3rd semester and, well, what can I say? Shit’s getting real. Forgive my french, but it is. In only 2 semesters, I will be expected to know everything I should know and they’ll give me a license if I pass a test. What the?

To soften the blow, I’ve taken a perioperative elective and as a result have applied to 2 perioperative externships. Good news is I got both interviews! Bad news is I have no clue which one to pick. At any rate, I am going to the first interview tomorrow. I’ve picked up my suit jacket and heels. I’ve straightened my hair because for some reason I get more jobs with straight hair than my naturally curly hair ::side eye, America::.

As far as school goes, my 3rd Semester so far has been my most relaxed (in stress terms). My family life is less stressful because I’m less stressed. I went into this semester promising myself that I would not stress about school or my family life. I would always put Loxley first, I would fit school in where I could and must and I would have a plan b, c, and d and MOST importantly, a study plan. My grades have tremendously improved (not that they were bad before). I am cookin’. My son is doing great in school and other than normal freak mom out ailments, he has been relatively healthy. My husband has a new job he loves, but still obsesses over video games. So when I’m not looking at the back of his head as he goes to work, I’m still looking at it because all he does when he’s home is play video games. But, it’s not a strip club, so I suppose I’m happy.

I’m just taking life as is and that’s working for me. My work life would otherwise be stressful if I hadn’t decided not to let it bother me. I was rated the worst I have ever been rated in my entire life in the 12 years I have been there at my end-year performance review. And it was for reasons that weren’t my fault – I was just an easy scapegoat because a) I’m not a manager b) i’m not a financier and c) I work casual part-time. All really good ways to put me down. I’d truthfully be crying right now if I didn’t already have my plan B and C in place.

I am doing an awful lot. I’m working, I’m in school full-time in a degree program where a test average less than 73 kicks you out of school, I’m the primary caregiver of my 2.5 year old son, I’m the Chair of a Student Organization for Nursing Students (likely to become award winning at that!) and I’ve just taken up an intramural sport with my fellow classmates. In short, I’m crazy. But, I’m happy. I still manage to steal little kisses from my sweet boy and take quick jaunts to Disney. I manage to do things that make me happy and in only 2 short days I’ll be 32 years old.

That brings me to my next point…how I’m treated in clinicals. You know, I feel sorry for you 20 – 24 year olds. The way some of these kids treat me at clinical is…embarrassing. And I think if I were a young adult I would be so upset. But at 32 years old, they don’t phase me. When they find out that I’m a married mother and 32 years old at that…their jaws hit the floor and I’m automatically treated with so much more respect. It’s incredible. This whole nurses eat their young is one thing…but I wonder if it’s for the young only. I’ve seen and done far too much to be eaten in only one bite. It would take a good amount of chewing for me to be eaten, and so much more for me to even care about someone else’s bad attitude. I know I look young, especially in my scrubs with my hair pulled back and barely any make-up on. I’ve always looked young. But damn the way you are TREATED when you look young!!! It’s terrible. I’m used as a PCT all the time in clinical. Nurses are always trying to get rid of their students despite the fact that you’re supposed to be watering your little baby nurse to help him/her grow. C’mon man!!

This totally became a rant. I must have needed it 🙂

See y’all on the flip side!

Posted in on a personal note

Torn

I’m not even going to lie. I went into nursing wanting to birth babies and be a lactation consultant…and now I’m looking for a job in the OR. But, I don’t want to give up my lactation consultant license. I think I’m just going to be weird and do them both. Is that a thing? If it isn’t, do I care? I mean, seriously…who gives a shit. If I want to be in the OR AND be a lactation consultant, who’s to say I can’t do it? I would never get bored. I’d always be doing something different, and I could do LC PRN.

I bet if I asked a seasoned nurse she’d laugh in my face…but maybe the fact that I’m not seasoned gives me an edge that she may have lost? I don’t know.

Ask me again in about 5 years. I might laugh in my own face.

Posted in on a personal note

Why I returned the iPhone 5s in less than 24h

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This is way off topic; or, is it?

I start the intimidating nursing journey in less than one week. In preparation for that journey, I have been purchasing all sorts of expensive things that will undoubtedly move me closer to my goal.

The second most expensive purchase (no, really, my books were $1600) was my just released,  brand spanking new, MacBook Air.

Now, I have been and Android user for a very long time. I have owned a few Apple desktops and an iPad, so I am definitely not an Apple hater. I am married to, arguably, the biggest Apple fan boy in all the land. So, you know what? I gave the iPhone a chance. I figured it would pair nicely with my new laptop. After all,  my Samsung Galaxy s3 was a few years old and paid for; now was good a time as any to make the switch.

At 4:00pm, I walked out of the mobile store feeling very proud of my 16gb golden iPhone 5s. By 3:00pm the next day, I was happily returning it.

What went wrong?

Let me start off by saying that this is a very sexy phone.  It demands respect with its metal frame and shiny glass face. The color is WHOA.  Siri is the business. Buuuuut, that same metal frame blocks the shit out of a signal in my out-of-the-way suburban neighborhood.

It fits perfectly in my hand…which is great for my hand and diabolical for my eyes. I went from a gloriously large screen on the s3 to a pipsqueak iPhone. Scrolling on Facebook made me feel like a giant being forced to live in a gnome’s world. Everything felt so…cramped.  Words were overlaid over pictures where previously they had been on the side. Being able to see 5 status updates at a time turned into 1 or 2.
My poor calendar that I rely heavily on as a mother, employee, wife and student was reduced to dots on a monthly view that I had to actually click on to see what the hell they meant. You know why? Because the real estate didn’t exist to support me knowing exactly how many days I had between taking my TEAS exam and my Microbiology final without playing where in God’s name is Waldo with these painful dots that had replaced good old fashioned words in my calendar view.

Android had this really cool feature that allows you to reach the emergency dial list from the lock screen.  On that list were 5 of my family pictures and phone numbers. That made it very simple for my 1.5 year old to call daddy, gpa, gammy or uncle at any given time (sorry for the 20 phone calls, bro). It was a nice reassurance to me that if for some reason I had a stress heart attack that my kid could at least call somebody to tell them he had a “Choo choo” and wanted a “snack”.  If I had a heart attack with that iPhone I was even more screwed than I was with the Android. No calling grandma from that lockscreen.

Finally, and I warn you that this is sooo petty, I can’t move my apps where I want them to be. I want my WordPress app to live by itself on the second half of page 2, for example.  Android? Sure, you can do that. iOS?  No. No soup for you. And those annoying apps that come on the phone (stock????) can’t be hidden on iPhone.  You have to live with it.

I came crawling back asking Android to forgive me for basically making a side chick out of it.

I tried. I really did. If for no reason than for the benefit of my adorable husband. But, I promise you one thing. If I had to type this blog out from an iPhone 5s rather than this Galaxy s5, it never would have been this long!!

Posted in on a personal note

Mom.

While we’re waiting, I figured I might write a little about my real job: Mom. I have not made the decision to go to nursing school without the occasional freak out realization that I may have to slack off my real job initially so I can be a good nurse- no, lactation consultant. Truth be told, I don’t think I could do it. I worry about, love and cherish my boy entirely too much. And so, outside of class time and clinical time, my time is going to be spent with him and my husband. Studying will be done when he’s sleeping. That means really…really…REALLY late nights. That also means I will be leaning heavily on my husband. And, you know, I have not actually sat down and talked with my husband about this, yet. I know he supports my decision to go to nursing school — but does he know what it is going to cost him? And, is it really a cost? Taking the “mother” role for several months so that I can be a good nurse?

Honestly,

I’m not quite sure how to have that conversation. I’m not even quite sure how to start it. I cannot ask him to just give up his free time to take care of our son when that has been my primary role. At the same time, can’t I? Isn’t L.D. his son just like he’s mine? Is it something I have to ask for, when it should be a given? My head is screaming NO, but my heart is whispering YES. And I tend to follow my heart. I have to ask, not because it isn’t his job to be a good father, but because it’s my job to consider his feelings, his thoughts. Without asking, I’m not considering feelings or thoughts other than my own. So, yes, I do have to ask. I have to prepare what it’s going to be like and be ready to make compromises because my husband is a human being, too.

Nursing school doesn’t intimidate me.

Being a good mother while I’m in nursing school intimidates me.