While we’re waiting, I figured I might write a little about my real job: Mom. I have not made the decision to go to nursing school without the occasional freak out realization that I may have to slack off my real job initially so I can be a good nurse- no, lactation consultant. Truth be told, I don’t think I could do it. I worry about, love and cherish my boy entirely too much. And so, outside of class time and clinical time, my time is going to be spent with him and my husband. Studying will be done when he’s sleeping. That means really…really…REALLY late nights. That also means I will be leaning heavily on my husband. And, you know, I have not actually sat down and talked with my husband about this, yet. I know he supports my decision to go to nursing school — but does he know what it is going to cost him? And, is it really a cost? Taking the “mother” role for several months so that I can be a good nurse?
I’m not quite sure how to have that conversation. I’m not even quite sure how to start it. I cannot ask him to just give up his free time to take care of our son when that has been my primary role. At the same time, can’t I? Isn’t L.D. his son just like he’s mine? Is it something I have to ask for, when it should be a given? My head is screaming NO, but my heart is whispering YES. And I tend to follow my heart. I have to ask, not because it isn’t his job to be a good father, but because it’s my job to consider his feelings, his thoughts. Without asking, I’m not considering feelings or thoughts other than my own. So, yes, I do have to ask. I have to prepare what it’s going to be like and be ready to make compromises because my husband is a human being, too.
Nursing school doesn’t intimidate me.
Being a good mother while I’m in nursing school intimidates me.